Watch out, April is here.
April Fools' jokes?
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| 有一天我们可以用推特来報稅 |
What is IRS?
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IRS 是什麽？ |
The best April Fool's Joke of the day.
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不要怕，4月1日起我開始吃素啦. |
A mouse trap designed for the Generation Z.
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| 本世紀最新發明的老鼠夾. |
So, what are Generations X, Y, Z and others? Please visit:
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Generations
X,Y, Z and the Others
William J. Schroer |
Happy Easter (4/21/2014).
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| It will be a chick. No, it's a bunny. |
According to Farmers Almanac, First Day Of Spring 2014 Arrived on Thursday, March 20.
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| 兒子搃算在清掃他的房间了 ---- 真乖，清完之很請他來我们家幫忙---- |
Why do we traditionally clean our homes at the beginning of spring?
http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/home/spring-clean-in-spring2.htm------------------------------
Die Maiers, truly one of the most superbly orchestrated and physically dexterous clown acts ever created, are impressive as hell.
One of my friends forwarded the following articles to me, their origin are unknown:
Men and Women
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."
The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text message they received, in response.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeh, and I love you too. What's up with you??
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What the f*ck did you do now?
7. ?!?
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she??
Men in Heaven Moment of truth
When
everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared
and said, 'I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who
were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who
were dominated by their women.'
I want all the women to report to St. Peter. Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.
The line of men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.
God said, 'You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him.'
God turned to the one man, 'How did you manage to be the only one in this line?'
The man replied, 'My wife told me to stand here.
20 Clever Ways to Tell Someone:
"Your Fly Is Open!" (without actually saying it)
(This Comedy Bit is on loan from TopFive.com, the Official Brewer
of all comedy.)
20. The cucumber has left the salad.
19. I can see the gun of Navarone.
18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17. You've got Windows in your laptop.
16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
13. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
12. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked
position.
11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6. Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO TELL
SOMEONE HIS FLY IS UNZIPPED...
1. I thought you were crazy; now I see you're nuts!
I want all the women to report to St. Peter. Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.
The line of men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.
God said, 'You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him.'
God turned to the one man, 'How did you manage to be the only one in this line?'
The man replied, 'My wife told me to stand here.
20 Clever Ways to Tell Someone:
"Your Fly Is Open!" (without actually saying it)
(This Comedy Bit is on loan from TopFive.com, the Official Brewer
of all comedy.)
20. The cucumber has left the salad.
19. I can see the gun of Navarone.
18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17. You've got Windows in your laptop.
16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
13. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
12. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked
position.
11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6. Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO TELL
SOMEONE HIS FLY IS UNZIPPED...
1. I thought you were crazy; now I see you're nuts!
